Help! My Teen is Gaining Weight!
Parental guilt is a real phenomenon. And it is natural that this feeling of responsibility is particularly strong when it comes to our children’s health.
And this often includes feeling concerned over your child’s body weight. This may particularly affect you if you yourself have battled to control your weight over your lifetime. You may feel fearful about potential health effects of living at a higher weight, and are concerned about this for your child. Not to mention the stigma surrounding weight that still exists in our community.
However, it's important for parents and caregivers to know that the presence of obesity or overweight in children and adolescents is NOT an indication of poor parenting, nor is it the child or adolescent’s fault.
Here are some points to keep in mind:
Body Diversity is Normal
Just like people come in different heights, they also come in different body shapes, sizes and weights. And this is a normal variation.
And it is important to understand that you can live a healthy life in a larger body. Smaller size does not necessarily equate to better health.
Drivers of Weight Gain
Genetics, metabolism, and hormones all play significant roles in determining body weight. As do stressful life events, medical conditions, mental health struggles and medications. While diet and exercise are important, they are not the only factors influencing weight.
Some children might have a genetic predisposition to store more fat, while others might have a metabolism that burns off calories more quickly. Some children may be more focused on food than others and derive more pleasure from food.
It is important however to be mindful if the weight gain seems excessive or if it’s accompanied by other signs that might indicate a concern, such as emotional or disordered eating, that it is important to seek professional advice.
However understanding the many drivers determining weight can help us approach our children’s weight with less judgment.
Puberty & Weight Gain
Outside of the first year of life, adolescence is the period of greatest growth and development across the lifespan. Height increases 20% and body weight doubles.
Some adolescents gain this weight, and sometimes more, over a relatively short period of time. Shape and weight changes can trigger self image disturbance. Over the course of a few years the teenager can find themselves living in a very differently shaped body to that of their childhood self.
Weight gain in adolescence can also be due to natural behaviour shifts. Making more (food) choices independently, peer pressure to go out and eat cheap, calorie dense foods, sleeping less and doing less physical activity can all lead to additional weight gain.
Beware of Judgement
Think about how you feel when someone comments on your weight or what you’re eating. Now, imagine how your child might feel if they receive similar remarks. Hurtful words can be harmful, especially for children who are still developing their sense of self and are vulnerable to negative messages about their bodies.
As parents, we should aim to promote body positivity, healthy habits, and a non-judgmental approach to health.
Health professionals should also be mindful of the impact of negative messaging around weight.
Family Changes
Modeling positive habits is important with respect to what you eat and the movement you do. Making any changes family changes rather than individual changes can help reduce stigma and make these habits easier to stick to.
Children learn by observing, so modeling positive body image and self-care habits is also crucial. Treat yourself and your body with kindness and respect, and avoid making negative comments about your or your child’s weight or body shape. Instead, focus on their positive qualities and behaviours.
Start Small…
When making changes, start small. For example, you might add more vegetables to family meals, swap sugary drinks for water, set positive examples of eating at the dinner table without digital devices as distraction, or take family walks.
Encourage moderation, however nothing is out of the limits of a balanced diet. A healthy diet can include ‘anything but not everything’.
Gradual positive changes can help your child develop healthy habits that will last a lifetime.
In conclusion, while it’s natural to feel concerned when your teen gains weight, it’s important to approach the situation with understanding and compassion. Remember that body diversity is normal, and many factors influence weight. By promoting a positive body image, making small, healthy changes, and modeling self-acceptance, you can help your child develop a healthy relationship with their body that will serve them well throughout their life.
